Here’s the story of a couple whose marriage was held together by a tattered thread
We are still together today because, he loved me when I was not lovable at all and held on to our marriage and his family, when there was absolutely NOTHING to hold on to.
We had been arguing a lot over the past months, Dr. Emerson calls it the crazy cycle. This past October, I asked him to please leave the house. I couldn’t take it anymore.I wanted to be alone, I wanted space and I just felt like I didn’t love him anymore. Reluctantly he left for a couple of weeks… I knew that my life and that of the girls would drastically change with a divorce. I thought about the shared visitation and how we would also have to sell our home, which we recently finished remodeling, but I didn’t care. I just wanted out! Meanwhile, he prayed, studied marriage books and tapes and made a decision to love me no matter what.
The girls were really starting to miss him not being around, so we decided he would return home “until further notice”. Well, he would hold my hand every night and pray for me and for our marriage, as I stared up at the ceiling anxiously waiting for him to finish. He would leave notes, or a little flower on the bathroom mirror or in my car. So many little things he would do to show me that he loved me and wasn’t going to let this marriage end easily.
It just irritated me. I thought, can’t he understand that I don’t love him, that I don’t want to be with him anymore? Why is he trying so hard? I didn’t feel that high “in love” feeling for him anymore. My needs weren’t being met so I wanted out- very selfish and immature…
I was emotionally going through something that neither of us really understood, but he stayed there and loved me through it. I’ll spare you all the little extra details, but I eventually broke. No woman in her right mind could let go of that much love and commitment.
Now I am very much in love with my husband. I’ve learned that love is not a feeling, it’s a choice, a commitment. We didn’t become a statistic because my husband chose to love me no matter what my reaction toward him would be.it’s really humbling to look back and see how loving and patient he was with me (trust me, it wasn’t easy) and how he, only through the strength of Christ saved our marriage. I can’t say we’re completely out of the tunnel yet, but we are certainly very close.