It’s been a long time coming but it is finally here, our first book review! We promise to keep the reviews coming.
Here is a book that focuses on the family- on marriage. We had so much fun reading it, with the ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’ as it opened our eyes to see some concepts in a different light. We hope you find this helpful and probably add it to your library. Please comment and like.


The love she most desires

The respect he desperately needs

Author: Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

Ratings: 4 stars out of five

Pagination: 1-303 (excluding appendix)

The book introduces the love and respect message; Unconditional love from husbands to their wives, and unconditional respect from wives to their husbands. Respect is a man’s deepest value and love is a woman’s greatest need. Dr. Emerson points out that the term ‘unconditional love’ isn’t new to us and is mostly emphasized in marriage seminars but the term ‘unconditional respect’ sounds alien to a lot of us because we feel respect is suppose to be earned. But Dr. Emerson shows us throughout the book how the love and respect connection is the key to any problem in a marriage. He also uses a simple analogy to point out the difference between the male and female:

“The way I like to picture the difference between men and women is that the woman looks at the world through pink sunglasses that colors all she sees. The man, however, looks at the world through blue sunglasses that colors all he sees.”

The book is divided into three parts, the crazy cycle, the energizing cycle and the rewarded cycle.  The crazy cycle refers to marital craziness that has thousands of couples in its grip. Dr. Emerson shows us that the key to staying off the crazy cycle is you get what you want by giving your spouse what they want. The energizing cycle talks about practical ways to stay off the crazy cycle with simple principles, techniques. It is all summarized in two acronyms, C-O-U-P-L-E-S and C-H-A-I-R-S. The rewarded cycle gives answers to questions such as:

What if my husband shows me no love when I show him respect?

What if my wife doesn’t respect me as I show her love?

If I get no results from practicing love and respect, why bother?

In the real sense, the rewarded cycle seems to be the most important part of the book.

Throughout the book, there are stories of couples who have tried the love and respect message, the challenges they faced and how it eventually worked out. And all these just stirs up confidence that the love and respect message does work and is worth trying as long as both partners are willing to put in the effort. Here is a success story from the book:

Just a few days ago I decided to tell my husband that I respect him, it felt so awkward to say the words, but I went for it and the reaction was unbelievable! He asked me why I respected him and I listed off a few things, and I watched his demeanor change right before my eyes.

The love and respect is a marriage book with a difference. Simply put, this book is about how the wife can fulfill her need to be loved by giving her husband what he needs- respect. It reveals why spouses react negatively to each other and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and Biblically.

We highly recommend this book for couples who are willing to make an effort to control the craziness and make their marriage work.